My best friend recently posted a blog entry titled, "The Perfect Girlfriend." It was a short, anonymous essay designed to strike some sense--and perhaps a change of heart, as well--into the more callous members of the opposite sex. Here's a snippet:
"What is a perfect girlfriend? They say there’s no such thing as perfection, and that she doesn’t exist.
"Oh trust me, SHE DOES.
"She dresses up all cute and pretty every time you take her out on a date. This is her way of keeping you interested as your eyes are locked solely on her. You stare at other girls instead, and she gets hurt and upset that all her time and effort were put to waste.
"You call her insecure."
And so on. Most girls would titter at this, catch each other's eye, and nod knowingly. All together and without a word, they'd agree that yes, men are idiots for not realizing that the reason we women act the way we do is because this is the only way we know how to show our love and affection. But I had to laugh at my own personal reaction to the essay.
It was the ending that really caught my eye. It goes:
"So go ahead. Leave the insecure, clingy, jealous, nagging, overly sensitive, annoying girl. She will soon be much happier in the arms of someone who actually deserves her: the perfect boyfriend."
Would it be fair for me to say that I disagree? No one is perfect. So how could any one person be a perfect anything--boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse? People who spend their lives searching for their perfect partner are looking for a nonexistent needle in the biggest haystack in the universe. It's not just a fool's mission, it's a completely pointless one.
The best anyone can hope for is a relationship involving two people who are both willing to work for the relationship, in every way that matters. If it means dealing with irrational tantrums, too many work hours, family problems, psychological issues, financial worries, conflicting opinions, and everything in between, so be it. It's talking it out, giving each other space to think and to be his- or herself. It's working on the relationship by working on oneself, not by trying to change the other person.
So maybe what we should all be looking for is not the perfect man or woman out there, but the best partner there is for each of us. Then maybe we can find ourselves in the best, real relationship possible--which, if you ask me, is a thousand times better than a perfect, imaginary one. :)
